hotel room ftw
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm jealous of your bromance
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
