I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm sobbing to NWA
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
