Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
