The maid of honor just puked.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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