"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
