Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
