why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
