i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
