you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
she looked like the before picture.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
organizing the empties. That sober.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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