This girl is more easily done than said...
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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