there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
