oh god the rape fog is back!
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
