Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
