you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I forgot wine drunk hurts
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
