I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
