considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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