Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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