i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
