Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Sorry my hands just texted you
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Randomize
