If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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