i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
