and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
