yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
