well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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