she kept yelling 'call me bella'
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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