dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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