absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
