i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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