New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
