you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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