If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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