it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
This can only be settled by a dance off.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
