Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Oh god it's open bar.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
