I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
