next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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