in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
