my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
pop tarts are not kleenex
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
