He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
