bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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