I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
