I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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