did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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