Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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