Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Floor bacon is actually really good
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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