He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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