plz talk dirty to me
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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