For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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