Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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