If i come over, it means nothing
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
