Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
