You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
