i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
