all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
