we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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